Glenn Geher Ph.D.
Darwin's Subterranean World
The Apology Is Short and Pinocchio-Like
When you apologize doesn't it make you say what you wanted to say?
Posted May 02, 2021
SHARE
TWEET
EMAIL
Source: 5amanjaro/Pixabay
Picture this: There is a wide stretch of Pennsylvania lined between two estates: red and green. Between them, a blue ribbon connects one plot of grassy country with another; a red and white iron fence connects two adjoining plots of red and white iron. A blue velvet rope connects a blue velvet rope hub and offers a wide, flat, solid foundation to establish connection 1.5 miles from the village to the blue velvet rope hub.
Each story is told by two or more distinct personal accounts. Each story is organized around a similar mishap so the participants can stumble across each other’s mistakes or discrepancies.
The idea of apologizing evolved in the context of a dueling family’s struggle over who would be the first to discover the secrets of each other’s coats.
In the first place, Sir Francis of Boudoir, Henry VII, whose life is celebrated primarily through his painting of his portrait, refused to allow his half-sister to accompany him in his first performance of the Vow and buried him in the dirt. Instead, he looked down at her and said, “I will not ask her to go and lie down with me.” Then he died.
In the second place, at least according to one of the stories told of the first meeting, Mrs. Emma tried to warn her much younger brother not to tell anyone what they were going to do. But Sir Francis’s response? “I will show her that he is mad at her but she is mistaken.”
And so it went on. Through a haze of finally recognizing that class and project ideas don’t mix, and when they do, they can’t get beyond a very shallow level of discussion that would bring up important differences between different viewpoints. Sometimes class and project ideas can come from mutually agreeable parts of the same big problem. But they usually present themselves outside a primarily verbal or very low-stakes verbal understanding of a family’s needs and problems.